1You ask your child’s teacher to cancel the assignment because it is too controversial.
You realize that this is bullying and that the situation is serious. You have attempted to intervene to protect the child being harmed.
This is a critical learning opportunity, the issue of discrimination is avoided rather than addressed.
It is likely that the problem of bullying will continue in a different form and possibly without an adult knowing about it.
2You inform your child’s teacher about what you’ve found out. You talk with them about how they may be able to find out who is involved and ensure they receive the proper punishment.
This sends a clear message to students that this kind of behavior is not acceptable. Students realize that their teacher is taking this issue seriously.
If the students doing the bullying are punished but no other action is taken, a chance to explore social diversity and discriminatory beliefs about differences is missed. It is unlikely that this approach will change attitudes towards equity and inclusion.
This is a great opportunity to engage your own child, who has been a witness to bullying, in an exploration of their capacity to support the child or teen affected and be a part of ending the bullying dynamic.
3You ask your child how this experience is affecting them and explore with them what they would like to do to change the situation.
Compassionate listening skills allow our children to talk to us about how these experiences affect them, reassuring them that you are an adult they can go to when they are distressed.
You have given your child an opportunity to problem solve and be engaged in the process of making a positive change in their school.
This is an opportunity to talk with your child about discrimination and diversity. This great learning moment may be missed if the discussion is only about problem solving.
✓Explanation of the recommended response.
Key Concept: Using learning opportunities, responding to incidents that occur daily, supporting those who witness bullying.
Recommended Response and Explanation: The third answer is what we recommend. It can be improved by engaging the young person in a discussion about equity and inclusion and attitudes about differences. Harmful behaviours and difficult subject matter provide us with meaningful learning opportunities. If we focus on the solution or punishment we may miss chances to explore our children’s attitudes and values. It is also important that those who witness bullying are supported and given opportunities to be a part of positive change in their school community.
While it is may feel extremely difficult not to contact your child’s teacher we promote keeping our children engaged in the problem-solving process and allowing them to be involved in the choice to inform other adults of the situation.
